Better this way (one-shot complete)

Title: Better this way
Author: Disenchanted, me
Rating: Everyone
Pairing: Mostly Vivian
Disclaimer: I don't know any of the characters they aren't mind, this story is pure fiction and mine you are not allowed to use it elsewhere.
Summary: Vivian doesn't know if he made the right choice.
Note: This is just a story I wrote a couple of minutes ago, I really need your honest opinion about this, since this was a story out of frustration beacuse I hadn't written for days, I just had to write something and it turned out in this.
Used song: Metallica - Turn the page, I know it's a cover, but I don't know who made the original one. And I didn't use the whole song, just parts from lyrics.

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With a sigh, I sit down on a chair in the tourbus. Four months of touring ahead of us, and I already want to go back. Not because I don’t like touring, I do, most of the time at least. But this was my only chance to make it right, this is the biggest mistake I will ever make in my life.

On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha
You can listen to the engines
moanin' Out its one note song
You can think about the woman or the girl
You knew the night before

I see the landscapes rush by as I look out of the window. Everyone is busy with making theirselves feel at home for the next four months. But I don’t want to, the only thing I want to do now is sit and think. I feel someone sits down next to me, but I don’t look up, until her starts to play guitar. I try to smile a bit, when I see Sammy sitting next to me, playing Guardian Angel on his acoustic guitar. At the chorus, I softly start to sing.
“And if you cry, I’ll hold your head up high, I’ll be there by your side. I will be your guardian angel.” I whisper the last sentence, while she pops up in my mind. I always promised you to be there when you needed me. I swear I wanted to keep that promise, I just couldn’t. I’m so sorry.

But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you're ridin' sixteen hours
And there's nothin' much to do
And you don't feel much like riding
You just wish the trip was through

“Are you okay Vivian?” I look up when I hear Theon’s voice next to me. When I look up I see his worried grey eyes staring at me. I nod,
“yeah, I’m fine, just…” I hesitate a bit. “Thinking I guess,” Theon sits down next at me, and puts his arm around my shoulder,
“Viv, there’s nothing you can do about it anymore. You already made your choice the moment you stepped into the tourbus. You shouldn’t think too much, you have to find some distraction. Think about the coming gigs, they will be amazing.” I nod again and smile at Theon. He’s right, but still I can’t seem to find distraction. There’s only one name floating through my thoughts, the only name I have to choke back tears with. At least locked up in this tourbus, there’s no way I can get my thoughts somewhere else. I really want to get out of here. I need to get out of here, before I go crazy from thinking.

Here I am, On the road again
There I am, Up on the stage
There I go, Playin' star again
There I go, Turn the page

When I look into the mirror, I find a person I don’t recognize staring back at me.
“Viv, you look horrible,” I whisper to myself, while I start to put eyeliner on. When that is finished, I try to make something out of my hair, which won’t work at all. It’s hopeless, just like the person I see in the mirror.
I walk out of the little bathroom, into the dressingroom again. Where I find the rest of the band. Everyone seems just as nervous as I am. Even after so many gigs, my heart is still pounding like crazy the minutes before we have to go on stage.

After a few minutes, someone tells us to go on stage, I have the feeling my heart is going to explode. I grab my guitar and take a deep breath.
“Good luck Viv,” Sammy gives me a smile. I smile back,
“You too Sammy.” After those words, I follow Sammy onto the stage, where I almost instantly get overwhelmed by the huge amount of screaming fans that are waiting for us. Even though it’s almost like this every evening we play a gig, the feeling is still great, and I feel the adrenaline rush through my veins as I start playing.

Whoa-oh
Out there in the spotlight, you're a million miles away
Every ounce of energy, you try and give away
As the sweat pours out your body, like the music that you play

The adrenaline rushes through my body as we play song after song. Everything I have I give to the songs we play, every single drop of energy. I love this feeling, the fans, the music, the adrenaline. The one thing I love the most in life. I think I love it even more than I love her.

Later in the evenin' as you lie awake in bed
With the echoes of the amplifiers ringin' in your head
You smoke the day's last cigarette
Rememberin' what she said
What she said

“Sleep!” I moan, when I let myself drop on the bed in our hotelroom. I hear Theon laugh at the other side of the room.
“You always say that, but you never go and sleep immediatly, mostly you spend the rest of the night ‘til six in the morning thinking, or whatever. At least, you say you’re thinking.” I smile, mostly I do. I think about her, how much I miss her. If it was right to leave her alone again. The smile slowly fades away from my face. Was it right to leave her alone all those times? If I didn’t, she might’ve been still with me now.
I grab my cigarettes out of my pocket, together with my lighter. The door to the bathroom tells me Theon is going to take a shower, so I have all the silence I need. I light my cigarette and slowly inhale. My mind drifts of to the last few moments, just before the tour.
“If you love me, you stay home. I swear, if you put one foot into that bus, I’ll pack my bags, and you won’t find me home anymore. I’m tired of waiting goddamn! Always waiting for you, you always talk about how much you play gigs, but I have the feeling you love it more than you love me, because I always come in second place.” Those words still hurt, but she knew I was lying when I replied.
“Ofcourse I love you more! Playing guitar is only my job, you are my life. I love you more than anything in the world.”
Theon was right, I made my decision when I got into the tourbus. Guitar playing isn’t my job, it is my life. And what everyone could see from the beginning, even she saw it. The only one who needed to realize it was me.
I do love playing guitar more than her. It’s better this way.

Not as good as your other ones. But still, I found it interesting.

I liked it